Parents who share custody face numerous challenges. They must give up time with their children, sometimes on days that they find especially meaningful. Parents often need to work out a schedule for splitting or alternating holidays.
They also need to plan in advance to share the birthdays of their children. Parents are often eager to celebrate their children’s birthdays by hosting a party for friends and family. When parents must share custody, which one of them gets to throw their child a birthday party?
Cooperative planning can be helpful
Technically, parents who share custody may have the option of each hosting a birthday party for their children. This arrangement can be beneficial in cases where parents live far from one another or have particularly high levels of conflict.
For some families, having the party at the child’s primary residence hosted by the parent who lives there is the simplest solution, especially if the other parent rents a much smaller living space. Parents can also alternate party responsibility every other year.
They can even agree to have a third party host the get-together so that everyone feels like they have equal footing during the celebration. Parents can also potentially coordinate gifts to avoid competing with one another or causing a scenario where the child receives the same gift from each parent.
Birthdays are a common source of conflict when parents share custody after a divorce, but planning can reduce opportunities for conflict. With the right rules, birthdays can be fun for children, instead of a source of stress. Creating the necessary framework in advance to guide special days, such as birthdays, can make shared child custody easier for parents to manage.